Do you ever feel like you just want to start over? Maybe you've gotten yourself into something you really don't want to be into, and you'd like to just start over. I'm kinda feeling that way right now.
I think I need to stop living in the past and just snap my butt into the present. That will probably solve most of my problems.
I feel like I just want to 'format disk' my life, and then redownload the stuff that is great. I keep thinking about regrets, embarrassments, and things I wish I would've tried (or had the chance to try) while I was able. I've also been engrossed in a lot of new blogs that are opening me up to the person that I want to be.
This might sound silly to some of you. Or maybe I'm flattering myself to say that. I guess I should just use it as a wake up call, or motivation to get where I want to be. ...and when I think about it, I really don't need to completely format my disk, but it definitely needs some major disk cleanup! Lol, do any of you know a good way I can bury/forget memories? That probably isn't the normal plan of attack, but it sure sounds nice to just repress some memories..
I feel like I'm not living up to my potential. I do feel like I have a lot of potential, but sometimes I might be too lazy or afraid to go for it. I'm also getting over a freaking sickness, so I generally feel like I want to clean everything and start fresh.
I want to follow up on promises I've made to myself and others. I want to feel like I am making a difference in the world and not just wishing time to go by faster. I want to feel like I am improving myself and becoming a better person rather than focusing on the things I wish I was doing. I also want to feel like I'm running at my optimum speed. High Efficiency. I don't want to feel like I haven't accomplished anything at the end of the day. Most of all, I want to be proud of where I've come from and where I'm going. I am presently excited for the future. I don't know exactly what it will hold, but I can bet it will be good. I need to stop being so critical of the past.
If you've made it this far through this post, well done. ...I guess. Thank you for taking this self inspection journey with me. Starting now I'm going to make a change in my life. It will start out small, and then hopefully the momentum will take me further than I imagined it could. I wouldn't normally post something this personal, but I need to be held accountable. So feel free to give me nudges and check in to see how I've done.
I have felt the same way lately! I'm going to start my masters next fall. Now I just need to take a big step and sign up for the GRE. I hate tests!
ReplyDeleteSO along with your new you... could you please post new pictures of you and your hubby? Did you ever cut your hair?
ReplyDeleteP.S. The Amber I know is hilarious... what do you need to change?!
It might be comforting to know that there are many ppl experiencing the same things, ME included....I think it's kinda like a mid life crisis....we are like at the quarter life crisis.....:) haha but really. I have been feeling depressed and annoyed with my life lately....there is much good in it, and I do love it, but sometimes I feel like at this moment I'm not really working to anything?? Ya were workin hard to pay off debt and finish school, but the progress seems sooo slow, that sometimes it doesn't seem worth it, I recently decided I couldn't take feeling like this anymore....and I have set new goals....for myself and as a couple. If I can accomplish things I set for myself I will feel sooo good:) even if it's just getting the lundry done.....it's hard for me ok:) Maybe you need to find some fun projects to work on....so your not JUST working, or if you mix it up a bit and come visit!! we could for surely find something crazy fun to do:)Let me know how I can help, even if it's just to talk....this is turning into it's own blog, it's soo long....haha. love you
ReplyDeleteWhittney, I am SO proud of you!! You Go Girlfriend!!
ReplyDeleteJulie, thank you. I think I just need to change my attitude. =)
Alicia, thank you so much! You are such a sweetheart for saying that! It sounds like you can agree with me; it's a frustrating feeling to know what you want, but you feel like you can't get there fast enough, or that something is in your way. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I really think the best thing I can change right now is my attitude and my regular thoughts. I'm trying to see things in a different light, and focus on the things I can change instead of getting hung up on the things I can't. I've got a few ideas of where I want to take this blog. So hold on tight, hopefully it will be a fun ride. =)